









The right honourable Nail Grimes asked me to come up with my favourite five Stanage routes for the 2007 guide. For some reason, I did seven. Still, maths never was my strong suit….
Taurus Crack HS 4c
“Nice little warm-up, “ says the missus, “only hard severe.” Treacherous things, grades. Never trust ‘em. Sweating and swearing five gearless and holdless minutes later, I only just summit before I submit.
Pegasus Rib HVS 5a
Climbs have poker faces. Interrogate them all you like and still they refuse to divulge what mood they’re in. One day Pegasus Rib is the perfect stroll, the next a finger-nail-shredding nightmare. I guess you’d call that character.
Symbiosis /November Arête VS 4c/HVS 4c
Why did we pick this little gem? No stars, no big build up in the ‘83 guide yet we launched out. Delicate, scary and delicious. Now it’s changed both name and grade and gained a star. You won’t find me arguing.
Cleft Wing Superdirect VS 4c
It was a mini-adventure long before the Germans bought all our heavy industry. From the cleft there’s only one escape – out to the light, arms complaining at the angle, feet scrabbling until sanity returns.
Agony Crack HVS 5a
First attempt as a rookie, merrily laybacking a perfect jamming crack, I’m unceremoniously unshipped as if the climb is telling me to sod off and learn to climb. Back many years later fully versed in the dark arts, it’s a romp. Live and learn.
Jitter Face S
With the wind full force in my sails, coat billowing spinnaker-like over my head, I don’t climb so much as get bowled to the top, laughing and hollering at the lunacy of it.
The Real Twenty Foot Crack VS 4c
“Oh, I led it last time Steve. It’s a piece of piss. Tricky start but these jams are perfect. Perfect. Ooh er. Friction’s a bit crap, good job the footholds are good. Don’t remember the top being so hard………….could you just spot me here Steve?